Inspired From the Book “Half the Sky” by the Pulitzer prize winner husband and wife Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn. Not only this book but the “Thappad Movie” inspired me to enlighten about this buried topic.
The first part of this content will be the same as the book conveys its message on how oppression in developing countries is less important but it is far more dangerous that can be compared to slavery. It demands both social and moral attention like the same a slavery end movement need.
The second part of the content will argue about the viable ways to create the movement, the changes the people and the society needs.
Before going further here is my quote to the people around the world who take women for granted (You might not be aware of it but deep in your root it is still present which emerges in any form.)
“The success of all mankind is due to the Females, their contribution to civilization is much beyond anyone’s imagination rather than people having imagination limited to their veginas.
Without further ado let’s just dive deep into this to have a better understanding of domestic violence, rape, threats, gender-based discrimination that women encounter daily. We might have heard or occasionally read about in newspapers but it is far more dreadful than what a piece of content in the newspaper.
It has long been an established custom in which mistreatment and abuse of women are common. In many cases, along with mental trauma, physical abuse, they have to lose their lives. In the last 5 decades, girls are killed more than the men killed in the war in the 20th century and this is only because of the gender. If there is discrimination in gender, the time is not far when the world will be damned and this becomes hindge on a lane of progress.
It is a social evil that no one is immune
“Even Big celebrities like Rihanna and Karisma Kapoor were not untouched by this.”
It is also known as domestic abuse or family violence is violence which mainly occurs in married/separated or about to separate couples. We will not go for the broader sense like domestic violence against children, parents, or elders rather than solely focus on the male and female married pair. The reason is very simple as domestic violence between married couples is so common and can be found in every corner of the world.
The most common thing you will hear from your partner is the regret he has and that shameful/hurtful behavior won’t happen again but deep inside your heart you know it will happen again. You are always in a fear that anytime that behavior will break up. You are in a state of shock, imagining about the abusive language, gesture, the physical and mental trauma you have witnessed will never leave from your mind. Leaving a permanent scar in your mind about that person, your decision to spend life with him.
The most painful thing to witness is abuse and harassment people faced by the hands of their lover
Domestic violence is classified in many forms including physical, verbal, emotional and mental, religious, etc.
Other than several other factors, gender discrimination is the root cause of domestic violence. It is caused due to the imbalance of power and control between the couple. The abuser (In my write-up I am pointing it to the males) uses hurtful, abusive words and behavior to control his partner.
It is very difficult to recognize the partner’s intimate violence at first but with the passage of time the level of violence increases day by day. It starts with the mild but it becomes worse over time. You might have witnessed from any of the below if you are in domestic violence:
- Insults you, puts your moral down in front of people.
- Discourages you from work, or the passion you have for anything.
- Control on how and where you spend money.
- Controls on the people you met, choosy for the people you met in your daily life.
- Negative opinion about the people you met, especially your male friends.
- Acts like he is jealous and over possessive about the relationship and your loyalty towards it.
- Controls what you wear.
- Always gets angry after consuming alcohol or any kind of drug.
- Threatens you with weapons. Hits you, slap you, kicks you.
- Blames you for everything wrong happening in his life and you deserve it.
- Forceful sex or sexual activities against your will.
No Safe Technical Devices: The abuser misuses the technology to monitor your communication device like a mobile phone to track your location. They spy on your messages and communication with your friends, as a part of mental insecurities. If you are concerned about and seek for security then maintain your privacy:
Use the phone carefully: If you do not want to share personal communication with your partner (yes you are married but that did not give a license to violate each other’s privacy). Here people will argue about what is wrong with sharing everything with your partner, they are right at their point but one thing as a human being we need to remember that person did not buy me and for the things to be shared he has to owe me. I have the right to share what to keep as it’s my life and want to live at my conditions and at my norms.
If your partner is spying on your communication and messages then it is very clear that your relationship lacks trust and the person is over possessive.
Use the laptop carefully: The abuser might use spy software or keylogger to monitor your email communication as well as the website you browse.
Change your social media password frequently: Social media is the best platform where you meet and communicate with new people, even if you are not wrong but it creates a sense of insecurity among your male partner. It is better if you change your social media password frequently by using hard to guess passwords
Root Cause for Domestic Violence
The root cause for the abuser to create domestic violence is due to the family or the people in their community influence as they grow. Children who are the victims of violence or from their environment learn the behavior of violence and they think it is the best solution to resolve any conflict between two people. In our patriarchal society where boys have more importance than the girls (here gender discrimination plays a vital role) leads to the learning that women are not valuable and not to be respected.
Another most common problem, when people grow up seeing violence against women are likely to do the same when they grow up.
Where to seek help
Although women do not need help, it’s the person who is responsible needs a help (He must need an immediate consultation as well as a medical treatment).
It’s time for you to speak and fight against domestic violence. If you are a victim of domestic violence and you do not know what to do and where to go, then below is something that you can do to start a new and fresh life where there is no scope and entry of violence in it.
Suffering is as big a crime as the abuser committing.
Someone you trust: Quickly contact the person who you trust the most, it can be anyone either your brother, sister, mother, father, your close friend, etc. Briefly explain the situation that you face. If the person is close and trust he/she will for sure help you.
National Domestic Violence helpline: Immediately contact the national domestic violence helpline. Most countries now have strict laws against domestic violence.
A Local Police station: When you witness the domestic violence contact immediately to the local police station, lodge an FIR against the abuser. Most women do not lodge complaints because they feel that it will cause their family’s honor to fall in society and it will bring disrepute.
The Shame of Honor Killing
The shame killing is the killing of a member of a family believing that the person has brought shame or dishonor upon the family. In the rural part it is a common practice that has been done on the girls from the centuries. If a girl is involved in any activity that is out of the family league then they consider it as the shame or dishonor for the family in the community. If we closely look at the honor killing then we must know that honor killing is a part of domestic violence with killing as the outcome.
For centuries it has been used as a tool to maintain control and protect their shameful culture.
Love marriage in different castes, religion is a major reason for honor killing. It is planned by many members of the family sometimes through formal family counseling, discussing the level of shame that will impact on their family and their generations. The method of killing is diverse that includes beating, burning, hanging, stabbing, throat slashing, beheading, poisoning, acid attack, shooting, etc.
Abortion If it is a Girl – Female Foeticide and Infanticide
The human sex ratio defines the male: female ratio. If we closely look in the rural part of the developing country then we will find big differences in the number of male-female ratios and this is due to female foeticide. As we have discussed above that our society is male dominant, boys are being loved more than the girls. During pregnancy finding the sex of the fetus and abort if it is a girl.
It is illegal to find the sex of the fetus but many clinics do this practice illegally. Census 2011 data shows that there is a rapid decline in the child sex ratio. The mentality of many people is that boys will carry forward their family lineage. If a girl is born in a place of a boy, then the family accuses the daughter-in-law and disrespects her. Ignoring the fact that there is no relation between The daughter-in-law has nothing to do with producing a boy or a girl, all this is a cell fusion game after sexual intercourse between two people. They forget that if there are no girls then how will the boys alone increase the family’s lineage.
It is not surprising that in this society, women are not treated as equal to men. This little thought starts from the birth of the girls. In our male-dominated society, men decide what women have to wear and with whom to be friends. In this context, the father and brother act as a superintendent of her life. The activities of women are closely monitored in our patriarchal society. Girl’s virginity and purity are considered as the responsibility of the male relatives.
The reasoning behind this is that men and women have different jobs. The only duty for the men of the house have to earn by going out, on the other hand, the work of the women is to do household work, producing children by becoming their husband’s sex slave and nurture the children.
Most of the countries have laws that protect illegal acts against the females, but they are not enough for that we need to understand the basic cause of it. As these are some problems women from the different classes face from the centuries. The solution always lies in the problem itself, we need to understand the problem first and then take necessary action to resolve it.
Investing in Female Education
Nelson Mandela once quoted – “EDUCATION IS THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON WE CAN USE TO CHANGE THE WORLD”
It is one of the most powerful weapons for women all around the world to protect and fight for their human rights. Investing in girls’ education can change and sometimes save their lives. The government and other organizations need to encourage and promote female education and work on a grassroots level for them. They have to focus on changing the mindset of the parents regarding the girl’s education.
Study shows that educated women have smaller families, healthy life and their off-springs are well educated. When an educated woman earns more money, then it is likely to see that she invests more in health as well as in the education of the children. Below is some reason why educating girls matters:
- Protect and fight for their human rights.
- Helps in living a healthy life
- Helps in becoming confident and self-independent
- Helps in earning money
- It helps in understanding sexual health, education of HIV infection.
- It helps in protecting against domestic violence and other abusive activities.
Investing in girls’ education is not only the right thing to do but it is the smart thing to do.
Eliminating Gender Discrimination
Gender discrimination is a situation where people are treated in different ways based on their sexual orientation either male or female, rather than treating in terms of their capabilities and skills.
Gender equality is the foundation for the human to live in peace, it is the fundamental right for everyone. Gender discrimination has an adverse effect on the girl resulting in a morally and socially down person, who has no or less motto in life considering the fact that she is one of the most important and building blocks of human civilization. It has a deep root which starts from the girl’s birth where girls are continuously discriminated from the boys. In terms of education boys get more privilege than the girls as according to the belief males have to earn and education will be important.
This serious issue is not limited to the rural part, take an example of jobs where females are continuously discriminated from the opportunity and benefits.
We have some stereotype about girls, below is a video which we feel is more powerful and your illusion will break on what you think about girls:
Be the Driver of Your Own Future
Self-driving your future has much much more opportunities, learning even success happiness than anyone controlling your life. It will be hard to be at the driver’s seat and there will be lots of hurdles to acquiring that seat but believe me it is the time for all the girls to take control of your life.
Here is a list of think that we as a person need to break for our girls and that will be the real and most important thing we do for them:
- Breaking the stereotype
- No discrimination, treat them as equal as the boys
- No catcall, as they are not a piece they have the same body parts as your mother and sisters have.
- Respect their feelings
- Respect their thoughts
- Respect their physical sacrifice
Be bold, Be Independent, Be whatever you want to be in your life. This cosmic space is all yours, spread your wings and fly high as you can.